


Turning Point Scenario

by emotionalcello



Category: Big Bang (Band), VIXX
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Cheating, Crying, Drama, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Smut, yo i cant even get any suggestion from the pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 01:31:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13583157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotionalcello/pseuds/emotionalcello
Summary: Taekwoon have been in and out of relationship and it never goes well. Seunghyun is a carefree dude that has a lot of sex friends but found himself falling for Taekwoon, who is one of his sex friend.Taekwoon is falling for Seunghyun too, but he knows better now, or so he thought.A short story of two individuals that starve for love.note :The story in this book is COMPLETELY FICTIONAL and didn't happen with the real person mentioned. The story in this book in fabricated for entertainment  only and not to aim ill at anybody.This is not a threesome. Bigbang characters might be out of character. Actually all of the characters might be out of character.





	1. How They Got Together

**Author's Note:**

> "Turning Point Scenario"
> 
> WOW that's a mouthfull.... but honestly, I was googling and sitting for 1 hour to name this book, and just go a long with it. Since its a story about one of their 'moments' and it's not something life changing, it's just.... life(?). 10/10 best description. And the first title was Noon... because the first word is Noon, you know how MsWord is.... i thought 'meh, lets just make it Noon' but i dont want to sink that low........ yet
> 
>  
> 
> note : I have to admit it for the life of me that this is one of the worst fanfic I made, and not completely satisfied with it, but I don't know what else i should turn it into, so I just post it.... llloooll. And it's rated M for the sex scene at the end.
> 
> NOW keep in mind that I'm only a VIXX stan and I have no idea about how any other idols personality are, so i apologize if it's not as accurate... especially the Bigbang characters... and there are Got7 and Dara minor appearance too, that i bet is ooc too.
> 
> OKay now that I get that as straight as Taekwoon's ass, let's get to the story~~

 

 

Seunghyun's POV

 

 

Noon? It's noon, I think, the stinging light stabbing my eyes telling me it can't be morning. I missed him again, dammit. I move my stiff neck around and look at the glowing digital clock. 08.30, and my heart raced at the sight.

I get up immediately, pulling all my muscle and senses to wake up. I check the nearest room, bathroom, no one is there. I run out of my room almost instantly and there he is, I caught him. His head snaps back from facing the door out. He's wearing the clothes from yesterday, with tidy hair and deep blue tote bag.

His eyes widen, "Seunghyun? You're up..." his face is bewildered by my presence, his body leaning back, away from me, but I don't care. I caught him now, I caught him before he leaves.

"Taekwoon, I caught you" I wrap his body in my arms, tightly, leaving no space between us. His hand patted my shoulder "I need to go to work" was his excuse. I didn't let him go, I already know from his manager that he has nothing today.

"Did waking up with me feels so horrible to you that you lied?" I put a little venom in my voice. His body tensed and I could feel his chest beating a little louder.

I pull him away to meet his eyes. His expression doesn't change, he's good at that. His hands push me lightly "Let me go" just then I realized I'm clenching the back of his shirt, but no, I'm not letting go.

"If you hate it then tell me" I didn't mean that. I'm not ready if he says that he doesn't want to see me. He averted his eyes, that can't be good. He pushes me away, stronger this time, and I let him go.

"If I hate it I won't be here" his voice is monotone, unlike how he is last night, only I knows that, right?

"Then what is it? I thought you love me" his eyes snaps at me, and he sees me like I just said something taboo, and his face mellowed in seconds.

"Aren't we just sex friends? What makes you think that?" his head hung low, and his voice started to shake. I approach him and he backs up till he hits the door behind him.

"I'm not that dumb, you wouldn't think I didn't notice you kissing me while you think I'm asleep?" I trap him between my arms. I can't understand him, treating me so well and escaping the next day.

"I love you Taekwoon" I move my body closer and made contact with his lips and mine. I lick the bottom of his lips and a hand pushes my head over. I was pissed, but when I look up, his face is red and he hides behind his hand immediately.

"I need to work! I'm late on schedule..." He turns away, but I grab his hand and spun him around.

"Taekwoon I love you! Aren't you gonna say something about it?" His face looks away, it pisses me off, why can't he just be honest.

"Taekwoon!"

"I don't...."

I shook his shoulders "You lied, just admit it! Say it! Do you hate me? Do you love me? Say it!" I didn't mean that, I don't think I can handle it if he rejects me. I knew clearly that he likes me, but why can he just be honest??

He burst into tears. My heart pinched and in shock I let his shoulder go. His body wavers and drops to the floor. He hung his head down while sobbing, tears dropping to the floor.

"I... don't love you..." He's still denies it. I know he felt the same thing for me but he kept on denying it. Why?

"I can't... one day you'll leave me too" leave him? Where the hell did he get this assumption? I was serious about him, how dare he doubt my feelings.

"I thought that you love me too, but I know I'm not the only one, you have a lot of people that you do this with, didn't you?" His voice became quieter, and shaky, enough to make me feel guilty, because he's right.

"Even when you're already doing this with me, you have other people too when you're bored of me" He raises his head, showing me his teary red eyes and wet cheeks. Both his hands holding his elbows. He looks so fragile it adds pain to my guilt. He was right, I can't deny that.

"That was before I realize my feelings for you... "

"I won't have this again, I'm repeating the same cycle, why can't we just stay as we are? I-" he stated firmly, but wavered in each sentence. His glaring eyes turned mellow in sadness.

This is not what I wanted, I would never make him this sad. He's thinking about some other people and comparing me with them!

"Whoever you're pairing me with, I'm not the same as them!" but I stood on my ground.

"No, you're not the same, you're worse!" He pushes me away, his sweet tender eyes that I loved now glaring at me.

"Saying sweet meaningless words while laying your hand on others, just like everyone you have, you'll find someone new to say these things to" He pushes me one more time out of frustration, and I just took it out of guilt.

"If I said that I love you, you wouldn't have want to see me again, would you? Isn't that why you've been like this? To conquer me because I'm cold to you, to make me confess?" I froze by his words, he was not wrong. I actually don't understand myself about my attachment to him. Is that why? No, there is no way, it's more than that.

"You're the lowest" his face made a turn, he looked broken, sad, and he rushes pass me.

I grab his arms and before he could fight me, I hug him tight and tuck his head to my chest "Taekwoon please, I'm not like that, I'm sorry for what I did, but it's different, you're different" his tensed body relaxed but I could still feel his sobbing.

"I promise I won't make you sad like this ever again, I will make you happy." His face raises up and our eyes meet each other.

"And you love me too much, didn't you? That's why you can't say that you hate me, to continue being sex friends, but I don't want that Taekwoon" at the way his eyes widen slightly, it seems like I hit a bullseye. I just can't wait any longer, he's just too cute for my own good, I want him to myself.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" He looked shocked and in disbelieve, looks like his eyes about to pop from his head. He buries his face on my chest, and I feel him nod.

I felt his lips moving on my chest "I'll give you a chance."

 

+++++++


	2. More

Seunghyun's POV

 

 

I'm ecstatic to finally have Taekwoon by my side. He's been the best thing that ever happen to me. Every week he would come over, or I'll pick him up and go hangout somewhere. We'll have dinner together, talk, and have great sex.

Taekwoon is sexy yet adorable at the same time. I can feel his affection towards me, I can feel his love pouring for me. The way he caresses my face and touch me is something I never experienced before. I feel like my heart is full and I could sleep with a smile on my face and have energy to go work.

I can say that my feelings towards him are special. I love him a lot, I can't spend my day without contacting him in some way. Even all my coworkers say that I've been mentioning him a lot, and the media picks up at how close we are too. It made me proud that I can somehow show that Taekwoon is mine to the world.

But I'm not perfect. All my sex friends and close friends don't know that I'm dating Taekwoon yet, and I just can't stop my flirtatious behavior. I said to myself, just once won't hurt, it's like a bachelor party before committing myself to Taekwoon. To be honest with myself, having sex with other people when I have Taekwoon has its own thrill that I also never felt before. I told myself that it's the last time.

And the next time, and the next time, and even the next time after that. I felt that thrill again and again, it's addicting. Filling my share of physical needs while Taekwoon fills my heart, I felt like I'm on top of the world. Taekwoon only came once a week, and I have the rest of the week to have anyone else. These days I feel like Taekwoon is replying me even less, and my habit is getting worse, but Taekwoon still came once a week to fill me in with warmness. And by time he never contacts me on the rest of the days besides telling me he's coming to my apartment.

It was Saturday and he supposed to come at night and sleep over just like our routine, but he didn't come. I tried to text him, even calls him, but he never replies.


	3. Seunghyun's Shade

+++++

 

Taekwoon's POV

Despite my doubt, having a relationship with him has been my best times yet. We chatted each other, sometimes calling each other when we're on the way to our schedule. We always say goodnight every time one of us go to bed, and good morning every time we wake up. This may not be possible at first but now I admit it. I love him a lot, and he's mine now, only mine. I'm receiving attention from him like I never did. He remembers my favorite things, what I like and dislike, and shower me with kisses and more.

Both of us are getting busy, especially me, the chats and getting updates from each other has gotten a bit fewer since then, but I tried my best to always stop by his place. No matter how tired I am, being in his arms always replenish my energy. Even if we just cuddle up and not do anything more, being together felt nice.

Then things got even busier for me because of my solo single, I felt guilty for not replying to him faster, but I miss him a lot on my long days. I always made him know what I felt towards him. I miss him, I want to see him, I love him.

My body felt really tired, but I still go to his place, even though I just slept over there, I just need to see him and feel his presence next to me. Just like that, I felt like the happiest person on earth. In the morning, he would make me breakfast and coffee, and we eat together and share jokes and just stories about our life. It's perfect.

Today is my third week of promoting my single album. It's the first time I did a promotion on my own. I feel nervous at first but now I'm starting to get used to it. Because I'm on my own, and the waiting rooms are packed because there's a lot of group promoting, I share my dressing room with GD and Seungri sunbaenim that promote their mini album. I thought they wouldn't want to share with me, but they're more than welcome in the same space as them.

We chatted a lot and they taught me a lot about improving myself and just a few tips here and there. GD is more of a shy type despite his badass look, and Seungri is fun and a bit hyper. I enjoy their company.

I was about to head to my dressing room, but it sounds like GD and Seungri are already in there, talking lively. Ah I wanted to join them...

"That Seunghyun really has no limits" my feet stopped just before the entrance. My heart just stops all of the sudden, they're talking about him? What has he done? Why is Seungri sunbaenim talking about him like that? I don't have a good feeling about this.

"What did he do this time?" Gd's voice sounds like it's not the first time he hears it.

"I don't know if the story about him dating is true or not, but I came to his apartment with Nickhun yesterday, and with Yoona the day before that." There is a mucky taste in my mouth. My head is spinning, Nichkun? Yoona? That can't be...I text him that day, he said he has a meeting at YG office.

"Eh, really?" GD replied, which didn't sound surprised.

I don't think I want to hear more of this, "He did say he has a cute boyfriend now, but it was months ago and he was drunk, that's pretty much it, he didn't change much..." My stomach doesn't feel good, I want to puke.

"pffft how did you even knew that hyung!?" Seungri asked playfully.

"Well he hooked up with Dae a few weeks ago and you know that kid is mischievous, he did a little snoop on his phone" I may not see him but I can feel him smiling at that word. I really don't feel good.

"and you know Taekwoon is in one of the contacts, but there are no chats in them and...." That's it, I can't take it anymore. I carry my jelly feet to the men's bathroom and go to one of the stalls.

I pull my bangs back and vomit. I pour all the contents in my stomach, wheezing and crying at the same time, I bet it was not a good sight. My head feels in so much pain, I feel like my whole body is turned into a pathetic goop of jelly. Just the thought of the body that held me so dearly, was actually holding someone else in between, I just... I wanted to disappear so bad. I can't breathe.

I felt a vibration in my pocket. My trembling hand tried to grab them and I saw the name, it's my manager, he must be at the waiting room now, he told me to go first.

I picked it up "Taekwoon? Why are you not in...."

"hhhh... Kkomae.... Help me...." I kept on wheezing, I couldn't say anything clearly. "Taekwoon where are you now!?"

"Ba...hhh.... Bathhh room....hhhhh" he hung up after that.

I toss my phone to the side and I felt the urge to puke again. Nothing came out except the coffee from this morning. My chest hurts, I can't breathe, I can't...

"TAEKWOON!" Kkomae sounds worried and he pulls me from the bathroom floor to the sink. My stylist is there too and pats all the extra liquids from my face and re-touch my messy makeup. Kkomae patted my back while handing me a bottle of water. He even opens it for me and I drank it slowly, just a little bit.

"Taekwoon what the hell is going on?" Kkomae stare me dead in the eye, he must be really worried.

"I just felt really sick" I lied, and he seems to believe it, for now. I see myself in the mirror, and I didn't look like a mess anymore, I need to get back to the waiting room.

I need to calm down. This can't be true, they're just talking trash about Seunghyun, that's what members do, right? I felt sick thinking about it again. Who am I kidding? Seunghyun cheated on me, he did this the whole time.

I felt like my vision blurred. I shook my head, calm down Taekwoon. There has to be a misunderstanding, he... he promised me. I need to search for the truth, I will get to the bottom of this.

As I arrived at the waiting room, GD and Seungri are on the stage, and there waited Daesung. This is my chance to find the truth, wasn't it him that see his chats?

I bowed to him "Hello, I'm Leo from Vixx",

"OOOH Taekwoon!" He opens his arms to me and pats me on the back. The same hand that touch Seunghyun is touching me, I don't know how I feel about that.

We both sit facing each other, it's just us in this room. Kkomae is going to the pd, and my stylist is getting snacks. I need to open a topic, "Taekwoon did you know?? I found your chat on Seunghyun's Kakao and yours are the only one that's locked, hmmmm what are you two talking about??" or not, seems like he likes to talk and gossips, this should make it easy.

"I have no idea as well Sunbae! Was it really?" I pretend to be shocked, and he didn't suspect a thing by seeing the light in his eyes.

"It's TRUE! Omg are you the rumored boyfriend ???" His face went closer to me and I could see the excitement in his eyes.

"I don't think Seunghyun Hyung is the type to have a relationship don't you think?" I laugh it off no matter how painful it makes me. "Hmmm you're right" Daesung agrees.

"but you've been with him, right?" his question was sudden, my face froze for a second before acting shy and nod. He doesn't seem suspicious though, he just laughs it off and slaps my shoulder.

"You don't need to be shy! Everyone at least has been with Seunghyun at least once! That dude's dick really isn't choosy hahahaha, but I gotta say you're WAY too cute to be with that dude, such a waste!" His laughter explodes and I laugh with him, but that mucky taste returns to my mouth again.

"Oh you need to join our group!" He exclaimed cheerfully.

"G-Group?" I stutter, but that didn't stop Daesung from shoving a chat group in front of my face, it's called the 'Seunghyun's SHADE'. I took his phone and begun to scroll up and see different people having an after sex selfie with Seunghyun, with MY Seunghyun.

'he curls up when I turn the ac up omg what a baby!' he loves to curl up next to me when it's cold, I thought only I knew that. There is a photo of him with Joonhyun, he's drawing Seunghyun's face with a black marker.

'a dick pic on a dick's face!! Kekekekekek' so it was him? When I visit him and saw the faint marks he said it was because his bandmates pulled a prank on him.

'OMG! Found a couple mug and couple plate and wine glass too! Seunghyun's relationship confirmed!!' and below that there is a photo of someone using that glass with Seunghyun when he's not looking. We bought those things together for me and him only. There was a lot more candid photo of him being pranked or just photo of him naked. They are all taken recently until I scroll up till months ago.

"But at weekends he never hangs out though, I wonder what he did on weekends" Daesung asked.

With me, he's with me at weekends, he's mine. I want to yell that to him but I can't seem to make my mouth say that. I feel sick again. All this time he said he was on the way, or the times when he said he loves me, or that he misses me, and crave for my touch, he was with someone.

It was all fake, I knew I couldn't have trusted him. Why? Why am I so stupid?

"Taekwoon?" he called me.

I pressed my eyes and I raise up my head with a smile "Yes, sign me up Daesung Sunbae!" I passed him his phone and he mischievously smiled. We shared our contacts and my manager called me, I need to be ready behind the stage.

Seungri and GD came in as I leave, I bow to them before I go. My mind is blank, I don't know what to believe now, was that proof enough? What am I saying to myself? Reality is right there in front of me. Why am I still denying it? Because I fell in love head over heels for him, we were so happy. It was all a lie, I was nothing more than a prize, something to be conquered by him. He didn't feel anything towards me.

The last sentence that I said to myself made my heart stop. My breathing is heavy. Calm down Taekwoon, Calm, Down. The camera is rolling, I'm already on stage, and my fingers are playing the piano without me noticing. I know this song like the back of my hand, because I made it, I made it for him.

I used to sing it with all my heart, sending all my feelings to him, but now, now all I feel is pain. I kept singing, singing with all the feelings I have, for whatever that's left. The song lost its meaning now, my voice tremble at the end of the song, but thank goodness, I didn't cry. My manager is very worried now, but I shrug him off, I have a radio show after this, I need to be strong, my breakdown can wait later.

Before I leave, I bow to GD, Seungri and Daesung Sunbae as I say my goodbye. At the car, finally alone with my stylist and manager. I checked my phone and Daesung already added me to the group, a few people there welcomed me. Some I knew, some I don't, they are both boys and girls, they told me they didn't even know I ever hook up with Seunghyun.

'Welcome!!! This is literally the vault of Seunghyun sex friend kkkkk, we all hate him but can't live without his dick kkkkk' is that what I am now? Was I never special? Was I never loved by him? Was I never worth more than just someone to be added to this vault?

My hand trembles, and my eyes feel hot. A tear melted from my eyes and pathetic sobs escaped my mouth. "Taekwoon what is it?" my stylist asked, but I can't say anything, my cries grow louder anyway.

My heart hurts, but my pride hurts even more. I love him so much, I gave him all that I have. All this time he never loves me back, I was just another sex friend that falls for him completely. Another trophy to be owned, a land that has been conquered. Even after he promised me, after I gave him a chance and believed in him, all just a sweet talk and I foolishly fall for it.

My manager and stylist just stayed silent while comforting me with their gestures and words. My silent tears kept on flowing, the drive was 2 hour long because of traffic. All my sadness is now washed away, what is left now is emptiness, yet too tired to feel angry. I can't, I brought it upon myself, all the anger I felt now is toward myself.

"can I please get a cup of coffee when we got there?" I requested, none of them replied to me for a moment there until Kkomae speaks up "Do you want to call it a day? I can cancel the radio show, you're not the only idol promoting today"

I shook my head "No, I'm okay, let's finish today's schedule" I shrug and fold myself into a ball with my parachute jacket. I closed my eyes as my head lean onto the window. I'm so tired today, I just don't want to wake up anymore, I'm so ashamed of myself.

 

+++++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO, so in this story the manager is still Kkomae and i donnntt care if Kkomae quit noww i still want him as Vixx's manager here so :"D


	4. Tears & Revenge

+++++++++

 

LEO'S POV

 

After the schedule, I didn't go to the studio like I usually do. I went straight to the dorm and curl myself up in the corner of my room. I don't even feel like sleeping, or eating, anything at all. My mind kept on rushing back and forth between my hate and my affection, between the good memories and his betrayal. I know I'll be like this, no matter how hard I tell myself, I can never forget my feelings that easily, I got attached again.

It was all a lie. His soft and tender touch, he did it to everyone. His sweet words of passion are something he tells everyone too. I'm such a fool. I thought he has some faith in me when I put faith in him too. More than I hate him, I hate myself even more. I should've known... should've known that Seunghyun can never change, and still I fell for him like a complete useless idiot.

What's worse now is that I miss him. I've been so busy that I didn't give him enough attention, was that it? But I can't help it, can't I? I thought he would understand. I miss the way he looks at me, the way he touches me and makes me breakfast. No, he did that to them too, I already saw the pictures. I wish I never knew he cheated on me and just go on.

Gosh that is sad, did I just admit that? Did I really admit that I wouldn't mind being cheated on as long as I didn't know? How desperate could I be? I don't like this... I don't like me being this weak and hopeless.

"Taekwoon?" Hakyeon crouched in front of me while patting my knee. "I knocked and you're not answering, Kkomae said you're not well?" He looked worried, of course he did. They already know I dated him, they have the right to know. Maybe they could make me feel better.

I feel like there is a volcano inside me ready to burst. I want to let out this frustration with them. "Where are the others?" I asked while rushing outside "Outside... wait..." Hakyeon replied, I felt like he wanted to say something more, but that's all I need to know.

I slam my door open and there are Jaehwan, Hongbin, and Hyuk waiting in front of my room. It seems that they have been waiting for me, the look on their face shows worry.

"Hyung are you okay?" Jaehwan asked as he held my shoulder. My chest hurts so much, I'm far from okay.

"No!" I screamed, probably for the first time in a while. They took it by surprise, but I'm not done.

"Seunghyun cheated on me!! Since the first day, he cheated on me, he never did love me, EVER!" I screamed on top of my lungs, manager Kkomae probably hears that in his room too. I don't care. I held my tears, I cried enough for today.

"I believed in him... I trusted him, so foolishly..." Jaehwan pulled me closer into a hug and Hakyeon rubs my back. Hongbin and Hyuk on the back are already making some pissy faces.

"What?" a familiar voice heard from the way to the kitchen. We all snap our head to the source of the sound. Wonshik is there while holding a tray of coffees and beside him stood an unfamiliar face, Jiyong, or when he performs, I mentally called him GD. I thought he only visit Wonshik on Sundays.

"You're his boyfriend?" Jiyong asked, the short sentence felt so wrong so quickly, it made my stomach go to another round of churning. It just dawned on me, none of the people ever knew we dated, because we thought it's not something to be bragged about. It was a bit secretive, but I thought he would've told his members.

"You really didn't know?" I asked, kinda stupidly and desperately. I knew that they never heard of me when I eavesdropped earlier today, but I just wanted to hope...

A shook from Jiyong's head shatter that hope "He never told us he has a partner, ever.". I fell down to my knees and curled up, I want to disappear. 

Seunghyun planned it all along, he never intended to even try to be faithful to only me. He wanted to play around, he still wanted me, and continue to play around. He now conquered me and I just let him do that like a cheap person.

I can't hold onto my tears anymore, I just let them flow down my cheeks. I'm so pathetic, I'm so worthless, I don't care anymore. A soft pat landed on my back.

"Hyung I know you're heartbroken, but he's the one that does you wrong, he's not worth your tears" From the voice, I know it was Wonshik, and he's right, so damn right, but I can't help but felt really foolish.

"Do you want me to tell him?" Jiyong approached. I look up and see his apologetic face and at the same time, angry.

I stood up, I'm fed up of feeling miserable. He promised me, I LOVED him with all my heart and he takes me for granted. Though there is still some feelings that remained, I will not go down like this. My sadness will become acceptance. Seunghyun doesn't change, that means I don't need him anymore.

"No" I replied. "He never wanted anyone to know, so let it be, let me disappear from him" Jiyoung smiled in a wicked way, I don't know what that means, but I wish it was in a good way.

Jaehwan and Hyuk didn't accept it and wanted to do something about it, but I refuse.

I'm nothing to him anyway, and now I will disappear like nothing.

"My relationship with Seunghyun never existed."

 

+++++++++


	5. Something's Wrong

Seunghyun's POV  

 

It's Sunday morning, the first time in a long time I woke up without Taekwoon next to me. He never came even after I waited the whole night calling him. I fell asleep on the couch.

I feel empty without Taekwoon here with me. Maybe if he didn't come I can just call someone? No. I can't do that, Saturdays and Sundays are for my Taekwoon, I need to feel him.

Where the hell is he? Why is he not replying to me? I grab my phone and my chats with Taekwoon. I send him at least 50 messages, he didn't even read them. This isn't Taekwoon, he wouldn't do this even if he's sulking, is he mad at me about something? No, if he does, he would always talk to me about it.

I have a bad feeling about this. There is a sinking feeling in my heart and it felt so awful I would rather bang my head through a glass. I started to panic, I need to know why. He didn't know, did he? No, he's not someone that's too sociable and none of our circle of friends knew, right? I need to meet him, I need to hear his voice.

I called him from kakao, but he blocked me. He blocked me? What... why would he? What is going on??

I call his cell number and he blocked me there too. No... this can't be. I kept calling him but I couldn't reach him. I called his manager by getting his numbers from a few acquaintances. I had to lie my whole way to get his number and he didn't reply either. I even go as far as telling Jiyong to pass the message to Taekwoon since they'll be promoting together.

Jiyong replied to me 'gosh, take care of your sex friends by yourself'. That made me frustrated even more. I need to push him even more but he's so insensitive and wouldn't even do this one favor for me. This called for drastic measures, I need to tell him about Taekwoon.

I texted him that I'm coming over and got there in a quick yet dragging 30 minutes. Jiyong's face is really pissed off, probably because I woke him up in the early morning. I pass through this apartment like it's my own, and he locks the door.

"Man, what the hell?" he yawns between his words while rubbing his stomach.

"You need to help me man" I begged, "Taekwoon isn't replying to me at all".

Jiyong rolled his eyes, "Maybe he's sick of you, doesn't have to be him, right? You look fine with anybody else yesterday" He shrugs.

No, I'm not, I not good with anyone else I have to be with Taekwoon. I need to have Taekwoon in my life.

"Jiyong" I called him, feeling a bit of hesitation, Jiyong almost glared at me, and I don't know what the fuck was his problem was.

"Taekwoon is my boyfriend" he doesn't look surprised, why is that? "You knew?".

Jiyong only sighed, "I have a few guesses that you have a boyfriend, I just didn't think that it was Taekwoon".

He crossed his arms, a disappointed frown flashed on his lips "He's a good kid Seunghyun, and you sleep around when you dated him?" his words send spikes through my heart. Dammit, what is it with this pain? I already know what I did, I did it without remorse, why does it pain me now? Taekwoon wouldn't have known, he knows I love him.

"It's not about that right now. Taekwoon didn't reply my chats for days. Let me go with you the next time you promote with him."

"Yesterday was his last stage, you didn't know that?" Jiyong narrowed his eyes at me. I never really bother about that, because I know he'll come back to me in the end. I took him for granted.

My body wavers back, as I drop myself on Jiyong's couch. I pulled my hair in frustration, is this it? Did I lose him? Jiyong sighs and he disappeared behind a wall to his kitchen. I grab my phone and tried to call his manager again. The steady sound of the bell is making me angry. How can a manager didn't pick up his phone? Angry, I turn it off and slam my phone to the floor.

I began to pace back and forth, I need to meet with him. Maybe if I know his schedule, or maybe go to his dorm? That'll attract too much attention, maybe I have to log into his fan café and see when is his schedule and I can just go to the backstage.

"Don't even think about stalking him" Jiyong came with a pair of coffee and bowl of cereal. He put it on the desk in front of me while turning on the tv. It shows a paused show from Friday.

"If you stalk him, you'll drag attention to you, you're TOP from Bigbang" I raise my eyebrows at him, "How did you know that?" and he just gave me a look like it isn't obvious.

His song with Seungri filled the room while I obediently eat the cereal with him. After his stage finished, they have an interview and then Taekwoon's stage started.

It was a pretty song, it's romantic, but he trembles in his voice in the last moment and he looked like he was on the verge of tears. This is actually the first time I hear his song, it felt like it was sung for me. He made a song for me and what did I do? He worked so hard, no wonder he hasn't been replying a lot, and always came to sleep. He's tired yet he still comes back for me.

"Nice song, huh, it's really sweet, he should've sung it with a smile, he's pretty when he smiles" Jiyong complimented and it somehow triggers something in me. "Hey!" I snapped and he raises his eyebrow at me. "What?" I was pissed off when I see him like that and I want to tell him that he's mine, but I don't know anymore, no... it's too early to give up.

"Look, if you want a relationship you have a connection for that, why don't start something new?" Jiyong started and I shook my head violently "You don't understand, I have to be him, no one can love me like he did"

"No, YOU don't understand Seunghyun." Jiyong suddenly exploded, and he took me by surprise, "A relationship is a connection between people that love each other and COMMIT to each other, and you're being selfish!" His words echoed in my ears and finally dawned on me. I know it's wrong but that doesn't mean I don't love him.

I need to get him back.

 

+++++++


	6. Months Later

Taekwoon's POV

 

I don't know why Seokcheon told me to dress up today, but I did what he told me anyway. I put on a velvet red turtleneck and silver necklace layered with an opened black formal blazer. I style my hair up and swept to the side to show my forehead. A fit pencil black dress pants that hang a little above my ankle and a dark brown pantofel shoes.

I have all my schedule done, my promoting days are over, and so does my musical. Seokcheon is treating me to this 'get together' to make me relax and I'd say I deserve that. It's been a crazy couple of months, or should I say a restless one. Forgetting Seunghyun is harder than I imagined, keeping myself busy is the only way I can cope. There are times when I almost fainted on stage, but fortunately I didn't.

It's a bit before 1 AM, and I'm already in front of his restaurant. He always makes this get together this early in the morning so that his celebrity friends can have a party with privacy. I parked my car to the lot beside it and it looks like I'm the only one here. Seokcheon came out with his apron and tidy shirt and welcome me with open arms and a wide smile.

"Ommoo daeguni looked dapper!" I can't help but smile at his positive energy. I hugged him back and he patted my back. "Why am I the only one here Seokcheon?" I asked but he pulled me into his restaurant before answering me.

"Those 2 haven't arrived yet" he said as he patted a seat behind the counter for drinks.

I sit just like he told me to, but wait, just two people? I was expecting a bit more than that, "2 people? I thought it's a get together".

"4 people IS a get-together, isn't it?" he asked cheekily, he's plotting something. He disappears behind the kitchen and I smelled a wonderful smell of coffee. He came with a tray of 1 cup of rich smelling latte, he really knows my taste.

"I just thought my baby needs a break okay?" He handed me the cup and thank him for it. He's being too generous and clingy lately. He's been babying me since I told him about Seunghyun.

"Seokcheon, I told you I'm fine, it's been what, a month?"

"I know, and I have no doubt about it, since you're my strong lil daeguni" he reached out his hand to pinch my cheek playfully, I hope he didn't take my foundation off.

"I just feel bad because I was in that Seunghyun's shade group okay? Actually, we all feel bad, and on behalf of everyone we wanted to say sorry, since everyone was not close to you..." Seokcheon sighed, and honestly looked regretful. I shifted in my seat, now also feeling bad. What Seunghyun did was not their fault, and they didn't know. I am not mad at them, not at all even.

"They were not the one at fault, Seunghyun himself decided to cheat on me, please tell them to not worry, I am not angry at them" Seokcheon smiled at me. He extended his hand over the counter to reach out for me. I leaned my face towards him, and he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"You're so sweet lil daegunni" he cooed before disappearing behind the kitchen again.

Since that night when Jiyong knew, he told Daesung, and Daesung told the whole group in graphic details. I already left when he started to caps his whole chat, so I don't know what happens after that.

I cut all ties with Seunghyun. I block his number, his kakao, and all other forms of social media. He started to even call my manager and my stylist. There are people I know that told me that Seunghyun is trying to reach me and I'm playing dumb about it. I know it's starting to bother the people around me, but I just don't have the guts to face him again.

I'm a coward, I don't even know what I'm afraid of. Whether it's hate, or hurt, I just can't muster myself to see him. Like a weight that I can't let go, a bomb that I don't know the damage it could do. I'm afraid of the good memories I had made me unable to say no to him.

I tried to get those thoughts away.

I'm thankful to Jiyong, Daesung, Seungri, and Taeyang sunbaenim, I knew Seunghyun is their friend but they still help me by not telling him my information. As far as I know Seunghyun didn't know I know about him cheating on me, but I don't care, maybe someone told him at one point.

"Honey, can you put these on that table" he came with a few plates on his hands and somehow rowed in his arms.

I stood up immediately the food smelled wonderful, and I could tell Seokcheon is being generous on this dinner. Honey butter Lobsters, cream pasta stacked with meat, potato salad, and one plate that I cannot identify what it is, but it looks delicious as hell. It takes me two trips to bring the food to the only table that's been made.

"Seokcheon, did someone told Seunghyun that I already know?" He gasped loudly and I turn around to see Seokcheon is already behind me. His face radiating with excitement, so much that it scared me.

"OH MY GOD, I forgot to tell you!!!" He yelled, he had 4 wine glass and a bottle of wine in his hands.

"Seunghyun saw the group, and as you know he scrolls waaaaaay up and saw your chats" he pours me a glass and we sit beside each other.

"I know this from Daesungie and I don't know how exactly it is, but Seunghyun snoop on his phone when they hook up... you know" He gulps down his glass of wine.

Well that's nice to know that Seunghyun took it normally and went back to his lifestyle, guess our relationship never exist now for both of us. I huffed and drink my own share of wine.

But I stopped halfway, "Wait, should we be drinking ahead, the other guests are not even here yet"

"WE ARE HERE DADDY" I was startled by the loud voice and the blunt language. I turn my head to the entrance and see where the blaring horn is coming from, I was not surprised at all.

Jackson trotted in, as he met my eyes, he instantly bows to me before he hugs Seokcheon. What caught my attention was the person following behind him. A tall man dressed in a buttoned black casual suit and open collar dress shirt under it. His hair is dark brown, neatly trimmed short but long bangs that he swept up.

His face isn't a typical Korean, not fully a foreign man either. Isn't he from Jelpi too? I swear I've seen him in the office at least once. I bowed to him and he does it also, our eyes never left each other.

He extended his hand, I accept it and we shook hands. I can't stop looking at the man that is towering high above me and his familiar handsome face.

"Hyung, this is my gym mate Julien, Julien Kang" and the charming man flashed a charismatic smile bowed to Seokcheon.

I snap my finger "Ah~" now I know who he is. "Didn't you sign up to Jelpi at around 2015?"

Julien Smiled at me, showing his tidy white teeth. "I thought you wouldn't recognize me Taekwoon, you've done well at your solo, I really like your song, I've watched your musical a few times as well" He chuckles so melodically and so friendly that it's making me nervous. My face starting to get hot.

"How could you not know the artist on your own company daegunii" Seokcheon slaps my arms playfully, "And this is Jackson, my baby son, who I love and adore."

"Come and Get it Got7! I'm Jackson from Got7, hello sunbaenim." and he bows to me after doing his group greeting, he really doesn't have to.

"You don't have to do that, I'm Jung Taekwoon, hyung is fine." and I lowered my head. "but you're still my sunbaeni~~m" He elbowed my chest playfully. So, the bubbly personality is real too. He looks like fun.

"This kid is the reason we're here" Seokcheon pinched his cheeks. "I was about to treat you only Daeguni, but this kid butt in for a free meal and I just thought why not make it even and told him to invite someone" Seokcheon explained. Oh, and I thought Seokcheon is matching me with someone again, I almost misunderstand there. I guess I can just relax then.

"I'M SORRY SUNBAENIM FOR BUTTING IN" Jackson bowed 90 degrees as his voice boomed again, it caught me by surprise.

"I-It's okay, I don't mind, p-please stand up" I was flustered even more when he's about to bend his knee and I held onto his shoulder to pull him up, but Jackson wouldn't even listen being so bent on saying sorry. Seokcheon is laughing his ass off, and Juilen boomed the same hearty laughter.

That was a tiring moment. After Jackson is 'chill' now, we sat on the table. Julien sat beside me and throw me his award-winning smile, showing me his white tidy teeth. Handsome, and charming, what a feast of the eyes. There is something in his eyes that differs when he looks at me compared to how he sees everyone else. He's a very handsome man, with a great body to top it all. Of course I'm attracted, but I don't want to be reckless.

I need a break, and I will have a break.

 

+++++++++++++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yall know Seokcheon righttt??? He's an openly gay chef in South Korea, yea some people is not cool with him, but he's been with a lot of variety shows and it seems that people are pretty chill of him, it makes me have some hope :"D
> 
> Because, i know i'm probably tossin my asss here, but what if one of my oppas and unnies are gay... what will happen to my children when they cant be with THEIR LOVED ONEEESSS and be attacked mentally and physically. I'M PRAYING FOR THE WORLD TO BE A CHILL PLACE AMEN.  
> 
> I have Jackson Wang here! dang yall i love Jackson so much i've literally watched all his clips on roomate and almost died of lack oxygen because i did the silent laughedd for 30 seconds straigth that's how funny he is, BUT THEN I CRIED A BUCKET WHEN I SAW THE VIDEO WHERE HE MET HIS MUM AND DAD, OH MY GOT I WAS CRYYYYINNNNGGG BUCKETTS HE SO SOFFFTT. and i hope i got his character right, if i didn't i'm sorry :"


	7. Months Later Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's called part 2 cuz it's from Seunghyun's POV

++++++++

 

Seunghyun's POV

\- Chat box -

'Seokcheon'

'Yes Seunghyunnieee~~~'

'Is Taekwoon with you?'

'Hmmmmm is he? Kkkkkk'

'I'm being serious'

'He's doing wonderful Seunghyunniee!! Actually he's finally been laughing a lot, and I think someone boutta make a move on daegunnie ;)'

'Who? I thought you're with him alone'

'Nope!! There are 4 of us! And he's such a gentleman too, as his fake dad I approve of this'

'Whatever, do you know how I can meet him?'

'Omg Seunghyun, you guys broke up, just let it go -_-'

Broke up? No, we didn't break up. He was too cowardice to talk to me, it angered me how he just left and kept me in the dark. Yet a part of me thought that I deserve this because I did the same thing to him.

These past months, there are times when he slipped my mind to only come back and hit me hard. The schedules are not enough to completely distract me. I fuck more bodies on weekends but I end up pretending that its Taekwoon. I even started a relationship with someone outside my sex friend circle and gay circle. I've been close with Dara lately and I asked her to date me.

Our company approves, but it doesn't feel like when I'm with Taekwoon. The food taste different, the kisses felt different. I don't feel as happy as I am with Taekwoon because Dara didn't love me, she only thinks of me as someone she could hang out with, and she's just obeying what the company says. I didn't feel good at all, so we broke up.

I tried dating a guy. This guy called bambam. He's playful, childish, and he falls right for me. It was a little bit easier to pretend that he was Taekwoon. There are times where I can't un-see his true self. He's bubbly, and cheerful unlike how soft and calm Taekwoon can be. No matter what I do I can never replace Taekwoon with anyone.

I didn't give up for the first few days, but when I knew about the group, I knew that was the end. I was lost, angry, and sad at the same time. Sad because Taekwoon knows, angry because I let myself did it. Deep inside my heart, I wanted to win him over again, but that was before I know that Taekwoon already knows I cheated on him. I don't understand myself, how I could've been so stupid and blind. I was greedy, so fucking greedy.

I thought that Taekwoon would love me no matter what. He gave me everything he has, he cares and loves me. He didn't even ask for anything out of me but my faith, and I couldn't even give him that. I thought Taekwoon would've missed me, I wanted to see him so bad back then I began to fight with Jiyong.

"Stop being such a fucking baby Seunghyun! Yes he does love you but you're caught now, and nobody in their right mind would still give you a chance. Despite his feelings for you, he lost all hope for you. I just want you to think it over again before you contact him"

I didn't even forget 1 word from Jiyong's speech when I caught Daesung's phone open and scroll up the group. Daesung was standing awkwardly behind Jiyong as he whipped me with painful words.

I want to let Taekwoon go, but my heart can't help to want him. I just want to be loved the same way he loved me. Now I can't even tell whether I want Taekwoon or just someone to love me. I don't know anything anymore. I can't hurt Taekwoon more than this, it already hurts me in the way he left me. Is this really how it's going to end?

Like karma, even now with Bambam, he has cheated on me a few times behind my back. I know a cheater when I see one, but I turned a blind eye on it since I felt like I deserve it.

I felt my phone vibrates and I see a chat coming from Bambam, speak of the devil.

'Babee you up?? Have you eaten dinner??'

I scoff at his bubbly text, it's cute, just like his looks. Even though he cheated on me on a regular basis, he always texts me every day. Asking how I am, at lunch and dinner always checking up on me. Taekwoon did too, though not as frequent as Bambam

I sigh. I can't waver like this. I need a solid ground to stand on, no matter how I, nor anyone else like it or not.

 

++++++++


	8. Night Escapade

Taekwoon's POV

 

The dinner was a blast! Jackson is such a firecracker and he goes so well with Seokcheon’s flamboyant self.

But the one that surprises me the most is Julien. He looked classy and proper at first, it took me by surprise when he showed his carefreeness. He didn’t raise his voice or do any exaggerated gesture, but he’s not the type to keep his image. He’s open, and most of all impulsive. He barely knows Seokcheon and yet he talked acceptingly casual, and he’s treating me the same way too.

Jackson is staying over at Seokcheon, and because Julien came with him, he’s ordering a taxi to go home, but there is rarely a taxi going to pass at 4 am. So, I offered him a ride, he hesitated a bit, just a bit, and then he snatched my car keys, offering himself to drive.

And here we are, on the road in a dark early morning. The conversation is always going with him, he’s not the type to ask for too much, he knows limit, and it’s a blessing.

“And I don’t know it was supposed to be done like that, and I just pour the whole bottle of toner to her face and the make-up I did for her for 1 hour all melted” I almost choked on my own spit, can’t believe that he did that to the top actress Se-ah.

“PPFFFT AHahahha” my laughter burst. Today has been the best day in a long time, the hardest I have laughed too.

“I thought you’re a quiet person Taekwoon, never think you’ll burst like that, you’ll wake up the whole city” I playfully pushed his shoulder, while containing my giggle. I’m actually surprised too.

“Hey, my home is around the corner, but, there is this spot I know…” He wiggled his eyebrows at me and paired it with a playful smirk, here he goes again with these ideas.

It’s really late, I shouldn’t ask him to drive even longer, “You must’ve been tired, we don’t have to…”

“Oh, I’m not tired at all! But you know, if you don’t want to then we’ll go straight home” he shrugs, while having the same smile on his face. He looks like he wanted to spend more time, and I think I do need some refreshing.

“Sure, take me there” I agreed. His smile goes even wider if it’s even possible.

He took his phone to make a call. He waited a few seconds before he greeted the person in the other line. He’s not speaking Korean at all, and it’s not English too. Probably French, he did say he was half French half Korean.

He turned to me slightly while paying attention to the road “Taekwoon is there anything you want to drink?”

I thought about it for a while whether to ask or not, but he offered so why not “A latte would be nice” he nods. He shared a couple of laughs on the phone and lines of sentences before hanging up.

“Who is that?” I asked, “A friend, you’ll see” he winked.

The road he took is getting further from the city and the sky grows brighter yet no sun in sight yet. From the distance, I can see a wooden mansion placed on the edge of a high land facing the city. Just as I guess, we parked there and the mansion turns out to be a restaurant.

We step out and like a dejavu, a man in an apron came out to greet us. He’s not a Korean for sure, and seems like he would be the same age as Julien. He gave Julien a big hug and a hard pat on the back. Julien introduces me to him using the same alien language, and the foreign men made eye contact with me.

He extends his hand, I thought for a handshake and took it, not knowing that he would pull my hand and kissed my cheek

“Franc” he stated, was that his name? I was taken by surprise and I can only bow to him. Julien giggled at my nervous act, he explained more to his friend about who knows what.

Soon after that, we came into the beautifully decorated restaurant. Wooden furniture, a touch of white satin here and there and a high ceiling. He leads me to the second floor and opens a door to the outside dining area that faces the city. The surrounding is still a bit dark and the city lights can be seen a bit far away.

Franc came soon after we arrived and handed 2 cups of a wonderfully smelled coffee. I took it in confusion, and Julien shared a few words before Franc walk away. We both stayed silent after that. I was dumbfounded at everything.

“Wow… it’s um…. Uh…” It’s all that could come out of my mouth. Julien chuckled at me before taking a slight sip of his cup of coffee.

“So, that was Franc, unless you didn’t get that, he owns this restaurant, and he always starting to prep at this time. He’s a fellow French in Canada, we go to the same school.” He explained. I nod, finally in the clear and sip my latte.

It tastes wonderful, the rich cream makes the strong taste of the coffee not too overpowering yet the distinct taste of the coffee bean still shows “Hmm this is nice”.

Julien pulled a proud smile “You haven’t seen anything yet” while wiggling his eyebrows. I thought this was it. I mean I’m impressed enough with this. What else could I ask for? A cup of coffee with a handsome guy on the top of the world right on the edge of the veranda with the view of the city. I’m warm all over inside, this is like a little healing trip.

I took another sip from my cup and inhale the cold refreshing air around me. I sigh, and see the faint clouds from my mouth, it feels so relaxing. My fingers bundle up and pressed the warm cup a bit tighter.

I felt like he moved closer to me and before I could realize it, his coat is already on my shoulder.

“Julien don’t, you wore thinner clothes than me!” I push his coat away but his firm hands didn’t budge from pressing his coat to my shoulder.

“I’m used to this temperature, you’re cold anyway, just use it” He pats my back and have that expression like it’s not a big deal. It felt weird and comfortable somehow. I mean, this feels like someone making a move, but he looks like he’s just being friendly. Julien might seem open, but he’s so hard to read since he looked so casual doing all this.

“Oh, it’s time” He pointed out in the distance and I followed the direction of it.

Just then I realized that it’s getting brighter and in the end of the horizon, behind the cities, the sun is peeking out. The sky is tinted orange and light blue with a hint of pink. The light glaring softly through the clouds as it rises slowly.

I felt like the burden in my heart is lifted. He took me all the way to see this. We barely knew each other yet he’s been nothing but kind and inviting towards me, and it doesn’t feel weird at all, that was the weird part. It feels surprisingly comfortable.

My heart skipped a beat after the thought of that. He probably just being friendly, I shouldn’t think too much of it and just enjoy the view.

“Julien?” I called, and he hummed as he makes eye contact with me. This man really is truly beautiful. This scenery and the wind that softly blows his hair and shirt is making him look like a real-life prince.

“Thank you, for everything, really.” the voice came out softly. He pats my back and moved closer to me “Anytime”, we finished our coffee followed there, followed by small comfortable chats till the sun in up.

We drive to his place after that, I don’t remember the way because I fell asleep in the car. I felt peaceful and somehow, feel easily slip into sleep like that.

I felt like we just stopped and I open my eyelids a little. Seems like we’re in front of an apartment. “Taekwoon, are you sleepy?” he shook my shoulder, but I’m too comfortable to talk about anything, so I just nod.

“Maybe you shouldn’t drive like this, want to rest on my place” I shouldn’t do that, we just met and all. Why is it so tempting though? But he’s a celebrity, he won’t do anything weird to me, right?

I nod, I don’t know what came over me to say yes. I just want to stay like this for a little while. He drove into the parking lot inside the building. He helps me up and grabs my shoulder to lead me to the lift. My eyes are half closed and my head shamelessly yet comfortably leaned on his shoulder.

Before I knew it, my body landed on a soft surface as another soft, and fluffy surface covered me.

“You can sleep here for a while, when do you want to wake up?” Julien’s voice sounds far away, and I raised my hand to show him a number.

“Okay, I’ll wake you up at 9” and he pats my head before he left. I smiled at that. There is a touch of gentleness in it that I missed. When was the last time I was pampered like this?

 

Suddenly feeling at ease, my body shuts down.

 

++++++


	9. To Move On Is To Let Go

Taekwoon’s POV

 

A pair of hands softly nudges me “Taekwoon it’s 9 am” Julien’s voice rings in like a melodic bell. My eyes flutter open, and see the hunk of a man with his hair down smiling at me. Am I dreaming?

“I make us something to eat, cmon” He grabs both of my hand and pulls me out of the blanket.

I’m still in my turtleneck but my suit is nowhere on my body. He leads me outside his bedroom and sat me in a chair in the middle of the room. A smell of something sweet hits my nose and my eyes popped open.

In front of me is a plate of a hefty stack of pancake, and a few plates of bacon and eggs with jars of honey and jams. Suddenly I feel hungry.

“Thanks for the food” I mumbled as I cut the pancake in a huge chunk and stuff it in my mouth. I heard a subtle giggle in the background and my cheeks stretched while I chewed.

“Are you hungry hamji?” I froze, how did he know that name?

I look up and his eyes spell ‘dreamy’.

I just noticed that he’s already in casual training pants and shirt, yet he didn’t fail to look like a model.

I swallowed my food “How did you know that?” and he just shrugs “I watch V App too you know, and I like VIXX, I’m proud to say that I have all your albums, and I’ve gone to your concert once” I can’t believe he would do that… I’m touched.

I bowed to him “Thank you for supporting us” he blurts out another laugh.

“Taekwoon are you not awake yet?” okay now I’m embarrassed. I hide my face behind my hands and slap my cheeks a few times.

“I’m up now!” I open my eyes as wide as I can, only to make Julien chuckle again.

“I’ll make some coffee” he said as he walks to behind the kitchen counter.

“You don’t have to, you already gave me a lot”

“But you love coffee, right?”

“How did you know that?”

“V App” Oh yeah…

I didn’t say anything again after that and continued eating, but I can’t stop my irregularly beating heart. Julien is pulling my strings, I can’t let him do that. It felt like he already knows so much about me yet I know almost nothing about him.

The room filled with the scent of coffee and I hum silently at it. Julien puts a cup of latte beside me and a black coffee for himself. I mumbled a thank you with my full mouth. I kept my eyes on my food but I can feel his eyes are burning holes in me.

I raise my eyes and see his smiling face at me. “What is it?” I asked and he just shook his head “Just thought you really do look like a hamster ahaha” He joked, I almost choked on that.

The silent atmosphere turned cheerful again. I have fun, I didn’t even know what burdens me before today.

I finished my meal and just left with my coffee. We drink and chatted for a bit.

We talk about a lot of things from something little to something a bit personal. He told me that he came to Korea for a modeling opportunity, and he had an acting opportunity after that till he’s here now. He began to learn martial arts, acting, and variety.

I told him about my family, a mom, and dad with 3 sisters and a nephew. Things toss and turns, I found myself telling him I’m gay, and as expected he seems to not be bothered about it. He told me himself that he didn’t restrict his sexuality. He is open to any person of any kind that could take his heart away. He then laughed shyly after he said that.

I kinda feel the embarrassment too, that is one cheesy line, but in another way, it made me feel a bit jealous. He’s really strong, he has guts to admit it himself that he’s free like that.

Unlike me, I told him I dealt with a terrible denial when I realized I like men. Until I reach a limit where I hate myself so much I’d rather be silent about myself. If it wasn’t for Hakyeon I wouldn’t be like this. Who I am is not wrong just because other people think it is.

In the end, this is my life, and I need to be happy.

“Thing is I’m not good at relationships” I shrug my shoulder, ah I’m going towards this topic again, I better stop here.

“Oh, why is that? If you don’t mind telling?” For a moment, I glance at his face. It’s not full of curiosity, but a calm and neutral face. It felt like I could tell him anything, I know he won’t bash me for anything, but I can’t help but feel a bit doubtful.

I mean I have gone through this again, yet there is this suffocating feeling again, I feel like I should tell him.

“I’m easy to fall in love with anyone my type, but that doesn’t mean the other side love me too, it ended up where I’m giving more to the other side than what they give to me, it felt a bit destructive. I only have casual relationships since then, but I can’t help but fell in love with people I like” I explained and Julien nod at my explanation.

I never thought I’ll bring this up again, but the earnest eyes of Julien in front of me, I feel safe exposing myself to him.

So, I told him everything.

From the beginning till the end. From the moment I fell in love with Seunghyun, until the moment where I finally knew everything. The words just glide out of my mouth so easily, and I felt like my shoulders are slightly lighter.

“Ah, that is one wicked revenge” he chuckled, and I followed as well, agreeing.

“I guess, it was a form of my revenge…”

“And I don’t think you could’ve known. When the person you love finally loves you back and they give you these promises, you tend to believe them.” his gentle hooded eyes filled with compassion, that it made me fluster in my seat.

I look away, hoping I can hide the blush appearing on my face.

Maybe he was right, I thought I felt like if I love him enough he would change. I guess this is my lesson, I can never change a man for what he is, I can only accept them, and I can’t.

I finished my coffee in one last gulp “Today has been fun, I think I should go home”

Julien stood up “Of course” and he disappears behind his room. I saw my car keys on the counter, but my suit…

“Here you go” he brought my suit from his room and I turn around as he helps me to put it on.

Julien spun me around and hug me tight. It was not even just a friendly hug, it was a tight embrace, and I feel so comfortable in it. I lay my head on his shoulder and connected my arms at his back, it felt like my own home. His tight wrap, squeezing all my insecurities away.

He loosens his hands “Okay, tha…” “Wait” My hand grabs his torso tight. I can’t even believe what I’m doing right now.

“Just a bit longer” I whispered, but I think he heard it since he put his hand back to my body. He held me tighter this time and he rubs my back into a calming circular motion, tumbling all the weight.

My heard is thumping louder, till I realized it didn’t come from just me. We parted, our eyes bore into each other and I caught something flashes in his eyes, he doesn’t seem to hide it.

“I like you Taekwoon” my heart rumbles as his voice called for my name, “I-I like you too” I was nervous. Of course I am, a man my type and kind and just made my day just said that he likes me, but I’m nervous about turning him down.

“I like you like this Taekwoon…” his face grows near, no, I’m not sure about this, I need to reject him, but why is it so hard?

His face stopped a hair strand from mine, his lips hover around my nervous one.

He smiled wickedly and kissed the top of my head instead. Ah, there’s a ‘pang’ in my heart, what is that? It feels warm, soft, but at the same time suffocating.

“I’m not rushing into things, let’s just be friends and hang out more”

I look up to him, and he still has this friendly expression on his face “What if I could never date you? What if it takes years and I can never return your feelings?”

His eyes look away, even though there is a smile on his face, I could feel there is a hint of sadness in them.

He returns those eyes to me “Then I would enjoy our moments together just being your friend, and I don’t think I mind if it takes years. Even in the end you’ll say no…” He paused and takes a breath, “I can’t do anything about that, I’ll move on somehow” he shrugs and nervously chuckled.

I felt like my heart was about to explode. When was the last time someone fought for me? I forgot how it felt like and now I don’t know how to explain this feeling.

“Why would you do that? Holding to something so uncertain…”

“You’re worth it Taekwoon” he immediately reply, firm, without a single doubt

this is not good my hands are trembling. When was the last time people said that to me?

“Waiting years and one-sided feelings, I don’t mind. I just don’t want to regret not making a move to someone that probably be the love of my life, you know? Even when you say no, I’ll still stick by you, haha, if you’re comfortable with that” he chuckles nervously while rubbing his neck.

The love of his life, why would he say that to someone he just met? How is he so brave at following his heart? How could he be that strong?

His face turned into shock, probably because the tears that suddenly flow from my eyes. It’s not like I wanted to, I’m just really touched by his words and my heart just decides before my brain could say no.

He frantically searches around the kitchen and finally comes back with a tissue while I’m already rubbing my face with my palms.

“Hey don’t rub it like that, you’ll hurt your eyes” He stops my hand and pats my face with a tissue till my face dries.

His face is so close, this is not fair, he looks too good, and tempting. His gesture is always gentle whenever he touches me.

My face just moves forward instinctively and he notices that. He stayed there for me, and I felt a bit hesitant for a while, isn’t this moving a bit too fast? I don’t know, but when I see those eyes, I know he wants me too.

He opens his arms slightly and my body moves closer, holding the back of his neck. He rested his hand on my hips slightly. Our body pressed together as our eyes enjoy each other’s company. His warm embrace, a kind face, a kind nature, his gesture treasures me, that is all I wanted.

I tilt my face slightly to reach his lips, but a pair of fingers stopped me, “Nah ah ah! You could stay but we’re taking it slow remember?” he chuckled, and it made my face hot as hell.

I thought we’re in the mood, but he just stopped me. Did I read it wrong? How embarrassing.

“Your face is red Taekwoon, don’t be mad I still want to be with you” he held onto me tight even though I already pushing with all my might. He’s strong as hell, that muscles are not for show.

“But I don’t think it’s right to get my hands on you now” he said sounding a bit sad.

“Why?”

He smiled at me, like seeing someone that didn’t spot the obvious, “Well, first off all, you need to break up properly with him”

The thought of meeting him again didn’t sit well with me. I know he’s right, but how can I face him after being so bent on ignoring him. Things seems so hard and awkward, was that because of me? Leaving things in ruin like this. It’s not my fault, I refuse to believe that it’s my fault…

Well, maybe partially it is…

He grabs onto my shoulder, shaking me lightly, “Hey, stop that” my mind blurred, and then I’m back to his side.

“I know it seems scary, but if you didn’t make peace with it, then the scar will haunt you forever, I think Seunghyun feels bad as well, hearing about him from your story, it looks like he really did love you”

I sighed, admitting that he kinda has a point, partially. He did me dirty, and I had my revenge, now it needs to end. If he didn’t talk me to it, I don’t know how we’ll end up, in the end, we both are still idols, it’s bound to be awkward when we brush against each other in the later time.

I folded my arms between our chests, and bury my face on the nook of his neck. His arms wrapped around my torso, wrapping me tight.

“Thanks Julien, for everything today, I need it” I hummed against his strong shoulder, finding peace and bravery in his arms.

He kisses the top of my head before leaning his head there, “Anytime, and I really mean it, I’ll be here when you need me” he has no idea how comforting those words are. Julien will be in my life from now on, the world doesn’t seem as evil anymore.

“Thank you” and I meant that with the wholeness of my heart. I pat his shoulder, “Next time dinner’s on me!” he just nods at that.

I waved him goodbye, savoring that sweet smile before the door closes behind me.

This is a good day. A good day indeed.

 

+++++++


	10. Why Did You Do It?

Taekwoon’s POV

 

I did a quick shopping at the nearest mini-mart. I had a change of outfit in my car, casual training clothes and a mask, so no one would recognize me. I already texted the guys to have snacks since I’m going to be late. They knew I went to Seokcheon last night, but I bet they must’ve got worried that I’m not home yet.

I texted them in our group chat, that I’m hanging out with Julien Kang from our company and I’m going to be home very late. My phone has been blasting with chat notification since then. Hakyeon’s gonna chop my neck to infinity, and the gang (probably just Hakyeon forcing everyone to listen to me) would want some story details – and food.

As I rush out to the parking lot with two heavy plastic bags in my hand, but froze right on my tracks at the sight of an ominous figure waiting for me as he leaned on the cap of my car. He wears a big puffy bright yellow parachute jacket and masks like mine. His beanie is pulled low, his face is barely visible, but I know that figure anywhere.

I approach him, “Seunghyun”

I was surprised how composed I am right now, but I feel nothing towards him anymore, not even hate. I could see him sighing, I don’t know how he is in these couple of months after we ‘broke up’, but I hope he’s not trying anything stupid.

“I just want to talk, and resolve things rather than leaving things in the air like this… if you don’t mind” His voice growing weaker, eyes darted at the asphalt, he sounded sad.

This is the first time I heard him like this. I feel a little bad that I left without a word, just a little, because he’s right. Things should’ve ended on a firm note.

I agreed, and we have a seat in my car.

He took off his mask, “I’m sorry” is the word that came right after. It not like I could forgive him right away, but I just didn’t care anymore.

“I’m not hurting anymore if that’s what you’ve been wondering, and it’ll take time to forgive you, but I will in time. I’m also sorry for completely shunning you.” I explained.

His eyes were on me for a few seconds, I can’t read what he’s feeling right now, his face is stoic.

After a few seconds, he finally let go a relieved sigh, “Thanks, and I deserve to be shunned like that, I was about to beg my knees to get you back” he gave me a dry laugh, his eyes are tired as it stares out of the window.

“Even my band members protected you from me, and they’re right I needed time to think, and now I know that we have nothing more to go back to” there’s a smile crept on his face.

“Thank you for loving me, it’ll be hard to find someone that loves me like you do, I regret it really hard now.” my heartfelt relieved that he at least had the decency to feel bad about it, but the other part of me wanted to scream at him. He knew it was wrong, but he still did me wrong.

“Then why did you do that, if you know how good it felt to feel loved, why did you cheat?”

Was I never enough? Was it my fault? Did I do something wrong? Did I do YOU wrong? So many questions in my head, but only a few my pride allowed to say through my mouth.

Seunghyun pressed his lips, looking away with guilt in his eyes, “I was selfish, I want love AND lust, I have everything I wanted, your love and all the bodies I can have, it feels like being blind drunk as I march towards a steep cliff”

He had his eyes on me again, “I’m sorry, I am deeply sorry. In the end, I wish you would forgive me enough to be back as your friend.”

I look up to the rugged guy, even so, it didn’t falter his handsome face. My heart used to skip at the sight of him, but nothing now. Our days together was wonderful, the love between us was real, but we’re just not—compatible.

Things go bad, and we did nasty things, but now I don’t want to tear his face to shreds, and he didn’t want to get back with me. We’re -- okay now, maybe all that we needed to heal was time after all.

“I got it Seunghyun, I really do hope you find someone right for you” the words glide off my mouth, without venom nor anger.

Seunghyun noticed the sincerity in my words, and smiled lightly, “Likewise”.

 

+++++

 

I drive him home after that. Turns out he knew my location because he’s bribing Seokcheon with free Bigbang Concert tickets. Though I wonder how Seokcheon knows MY location.

As for the supermarket, it was his wild guess. We told each other our life updates, he told me about his new boyfriend, I told him where I just stayed. We talk to each other like nothing ever happened between us. Which is odd, but we didn’t point it out.

We shook hands, and parted ways, with lighter weight on our shoulders. After I dropped him off, I bolted straight to my dorm, where the members must’ve been cursing at me for taking this long.

 

I was right. Jaehwan and Hyuk were marching towards me with hands in the air, ready to pounce me, but I ducked really fast for the sake of my life. Hakyeon was blabbering questions, but it was overpowered by Jaehwan’s screaming. Ravi and Hongbin passed out in the living room, probably because of hunger.

I put my stuff down, and was about to make them something (whatever meal between lunch and dinner called), but Hakyeon pulled me to the living room and sat me there with the two dead bodies (Wonshik and Hongbin).

“EXPLAIN how did you suddenly got yourself another HUNK!” Hakyeon has his foot down, demanding answers.

I know that Hyuk and Jaehwan is not on the same page with Hakyeon and would rather eat instead, but they didn’t say anything to the currently very scary leader.

I chuckled, when I think about it, there’s a stack of happenings just in 1 day interval, today has been one of my turning point.

“You guys won’t believe what just happened to me”

 

++++

 

Seunghyun’s POV

 

After Taekwoon got me back to my apartment, Bambam was already there, making himself feel at home. I forgot that he came at every Thursday. I shouldn’t have given him the spare key. I was convinced that he wouldn’t come today, since I saw that he was chummy with this Jackson guy.

“You’re here, I thought you’re with Jackson” I tested him

“Oh, that was yesterday silly!” I was surprised. Didn’t he realize he got caught on?

“I know you’re cheating on me and fucking someone else behind my back, don’t you have anything to say” I tried to be direct, but his face doesn’t seem guilty, just pure shock.

“Well, I won’t call it cheating, you didn’t know?” now I’m the one that’s shocked.

I couldn’t say anything, since nothing came up in my head. Turns out I don’t need to, since Bambam wasn’t finished yet.

“I thought we’re swingers! Aren’t we? I hear about you from the other sunbaenims, and I thought you’re just like me!”

Just like him? A swinger? Wasn’t that like an open relationship or something? Is that what I am?

“So, you’re okay if I have sex with someone else?” I cleared, just to make sure.

Bambam raised his eyebrows, “Of Course! That was the point!” he threw himself at me, tying my waist with his arms.

“When you meet someone fun, be sure to share with me okay!” He tapped my nose slightly and kissed me on the lips, “I love you Seunghyun Hyung!” despite his playful tone, it does sound sincere.

There’s a slight rumble in my stomach as he said those words. He’s a very honest kid, and it made the word mean even more. Though he’s different from Taekwoon, he still made me feel those little joys of love.

Maybe, just maybe, I have a chance to have a deep relationship again, “I love you too”

 

+++++


	11. Anti-Climatic Ending (pls read the warning)

THIS PART CONTAINS EXPLICIT SEX SCENES

You’ve been warned.

 

Taekwoon’s POV

 

I could barely keep my eyes open anymore. It’s 2 am and we’re finally going back to the dorm. The stylist sitting in the front is already out like a light, and so does Wonshik beside me, drooling over my shoulder while using it as his personal pillow, but only this time I won’t smack his head, he needs rest, we all do.

Hakyeon, Jaehwan, and Hongbin are already asleep too. KKomae is driving with his third coffee today at the cup holder and Hyuk is on his phone. He’s like me, we’re trying not to sleep in the car so we can fully go to sleep in the dorm.

Actually, just a few minutes ago everyone was trying to not sleep, but they lost the battle. My body is worn out right now, I really want to give in, but tomorrow we have to leave early again and I just want a deep sleep on a bed.

I know I sent the last text for Julien about a few hours ago, should I send another that I finished everything for today? My hand already brought my phone in front of me before I could mentally say yes.

The last thing I sent to him is when I was heading home from the performance today. I haven’t sent him anything again after that and didn’t tell about the interview and radio show later.

I saw a notification from him.

‘Tell me when you finish schedule for today~’

It was sent at 12 am. Is he probably still up? I really miss him, I haven’t met him for 3 weeks.

It’s been roughly a year since we met each other, time sure flies, and he’s been nothing but wonderful. Everything feels slow and cozy when we’re together, it felt like a home where I can recharge my energy.

Not that I can’t do that with my family but, I felt free with Julien. The feeling of freedom and that I don’t have to hide anything, it’s something I took for granted. It felt so good to be completely accepted, body and soul.

I wonder when I could see his face again. Unlike how I usually do, I didn’t go to his place at weekends. He’s been traveling for his variety shows and I’ve been so busy, it’s not like I’m his boyfriend or anything. We didn’t make it official, but it’s just as natural as air to be with him.

It was just us, hanging out, talking about everything, anything, whether it’s something personal or something as small as why does the sunset looked orange? We both googled it and it was something about the distance.

We’re close, we love to be at each other’s companies, and we know almost anything about each other. We get together whenever we can. Sometimes once a week, but in our busy days sometimes it was once a month, but never this long before. I really, really miss him a lot, but what am I going to say?

‘Tell me when you finish schedule for today~’

‘I’m done, on my way to the dorm’

He’s probably asleep right now, I think he’ll reply tomorrow when he wakes up for his daily jog. My phone vibrates.

‘Woaah, you’ve worked hard, get a good night sleep, you have something tomorrow?’ oh he’s not sleeping yet.

‘Yeah, we’re performing at mbc, why aren’t you asleep yet?’

‘Waah, I’ll be sure to watch~~ Actually just done calling my fam, was about to go to bed’

Ahh, I see. His family does often call him, it’s usually at this hour. I even video chatted with them at one time. It was fun, and just downright confusing because of the language barrier.

I don’t know what to say, I want to keep talking to him. I miss our long talks over coffee, our dinners at Seokcheon’s, sometimes at his friends, but I don’t know what to say right now. He’s going to sleep, and tomorrow I don’t think I even have the time to hold my phone.

‘I miss you Julien’ and my fingers send it before I mentally consider it. I’m too tired to feel flustered right now.

‘I miss you too’ He does? A sight of those words made my heart race; I’m not even that tired anymore. Where is his jokes and extra alphabets?

I want to see him and just snuggled with him for the rest of the days. I want to know what he’s been up to, in details, and I want to tell my share too. I want to spend the whole day with him doing whatever, I want to see his happy face while eating foods I make.

I love him.

And now I can’t sleep.

 

++++++++++++++++++

 

It’s been a month, 2 weeks and 4 days since we last saw each other, we video chatted from time to time now and then. Schedules haven’t given us mercy. He’s busy when I’m not, and I’m busy when he’s not. It was the worst, but not anymore.

Finally, I finished all of my big projects and on break now till the next comeback which is in a few months, and he’s next schedule is in a few weeks. Finally, I get to see him, and touch him, and hear his voice clearly.

I drive to his place on a late Friday, he said he wanted to prepare dinner with me, I’m looking forward to it so much I even bought ingredients myself. His apartment is visible now and I can’t help but felt excited and my heart is going wild at the thought.

I parked underground, and enter his codes to went up the elevator while holding a plastic bag on each of my hands. This is it, I’m in front of his door, my heart just can’t keep quiet. I rang the bell to tell him I’m here, I already know the codes to his apartment so I just let myself in.

Breathe in and out, calm down Taekwoon, you’re being ridiculous now. There’s no reason to feel this nervous, isn’t it?

I close the door behind me and put my shoes away. “Taekwoon?” a familiar voice in an endearing clear sound acts like a shock to my body. I jolt my head up to see the man in casual training pants and t-shirt.

His hair is a bit long and his black dye is wearing off, showing his true brunet hair, and I could see the faint stubble on his face. I dropped my groceries to the floor and I felt like my whole body froze by the sight of his body. My chest feels so tight, tight enough to stop my breath for a few seconds.

“You’re here” his face is unreadable but there is no playful smile on his face, he mirrors the shock and baffling feeling of me.

My legs moved on its own as I ran to him. He opened his arms and welcomed me with a wide smile of his, there it is. I bury my head on his shoulder and so is he to mine. This is it, that satisfying feeling of being held by him.

“You’re here too Julien” I just missed this man too much… I cupped his face and I land my lips on his.

My breath shortened to the touch, his lips felt so good on mine it makes me feel giddy. My toes curled when I feel his hand on my back pulling me closer as his lips moving sensually to kiss me back this time.

Our lips moved at a stable pace and soon we began to eat each other hungrily. Our movement growing faster, eager to fill in the loss of each other presence. His hands moving to my lower back and he grips it firmly, pulling me as close as possible. I hummed to his touch as I kept on clinging to his shirt.

Our tongue is fighting for dominance and I let him do whatever he wants with me. He breaks from my lips to my chin and neck, I almost moaned at that.

“Taekwoon, please stop me, I can’t hold back” He whispers directly to my ear, brushing his lips against my earlobe.

“Then don’t” I throw away my coat and sweater, only leaving a single shirt on me. I put my lips to where it belongs, his, as my hands travel under his shirt and felt the rippling bumps of muscle there. God, it’s rock hard muscles under there.

My mouth tasting eating up his lips deliciously, till I can’t keep my tongue in, and he lets me explore the cave of his mouth.

He flips our position and caged me in his arms. His body pressed mine against the wall as his lips devoured me. I could feel his member grinding on mine and it’s as hard as a rock, both of ours are. Our bodies are rubbing together, melting into one. The heat of his body is radiating to mine as we desperately grind on each other.

His hand traveled down to my belt and begun to undo them, making me completely naked waist down.

I don’t care anymore, I just really want him, right now. His hand rubbing my member as he faithfully made his lips stayed on mine. I can’t hold my voice in anymore, I moaned on each stroke he did to me. It felt so good, when was the last time I felt like this? I couldn’t even remember.

My hands rubbing his bulge right above his pants and I slip my fingers through the rubber band. My fingers meet the moist tip of his member and I rubbed down through his entire shaft.

 

“I want this in me, right now” I whispered to his ear and he took no time to immediately sling one of my legs up to his shoulder, exposing my entrance to him, and he nests himself right between my legs.

 

His pants dropped low enough to let me see his hard on is out and proud. He grabs one of my butt cheeks and rubs his member right between it. He looked at my eyes as his tip is nudged on my entrance.

As he pushed himself in, I moaned shamelessly. I can’t even look at him anymore and tear my gaze away, but his hand grabs my chin and yank it back to him.

His entire shaft went in and I gasp in the feeling of fullness in me. I watched as his face shows the lust he has for me, that was sexy.

“Taekwoon, you’re beautiful” I could feel my face burns at his words. What on earth did he blab about in the middle of this, but that blab succeeds in making my shaft suffer.

His lips returned to mine as he slowly moving his hips. I gasp and moaned at every time he thrust into me. I never been this loud before, but I just can’t hold in my voice. His hand is rubbing my shaft so eagerly, synching with his trusts.

Everything felt too good, I don’t think I could last another minute.

“Aahhh, Julien it felt good” he kept rocking his hips, now even faster, and deeper. My legs are twitching at how good it felt, and it sent shivers down my spine. My back entrance feels hot, and all of my insides felt like being drilled in deep.

My member is twitching, I’m on my edge of letting it spill. His temple resting on mine as his eyes watched me with feral lust. It embarrasses me how he didn’t even look away from me.

I shove his face away “Stop looking at me, I’m embarrassed…” Julien didn’t budge and chuckled “I want to see your face when you feel good” I could feel my cheeks burning, why would he want to see me like that?

His lips pressed to mine again and his teeth slowly chewing my bottom lip and sucking them. His free hand found my only leg that clinging hopelessly to the floor and lift that one as well.

I was caught surprised “Wait Julien” and my arms linked behind his neck, hanging dearly while both of my legs are up in the air. How did he even lift me up? I weigh a ton and just picks me up like I made of paper.

He spread my legs apart, and sandwiching me against the wall as he thrust. I could feel him reaching in deeper, and he hits that spot, my good spot. Oh My God I’m losing my mind. My toes curl at the sensation and instinctively dug my nails into his shoulder.

“Did I find it? Do you feel good Woonie?” he’s smirking shamelessly as he called his self-made nickname for me. I don’t know how and why he found that nickname, but I don’t care about that for now.

All that I care about is how incredibly excited I feel, but how on earth I could tell him that, so I only nod my head.

He thrust in repeatedly even more, raping that spot without mercy. I held on to the back of his hair for my dear life. He rested his head on my shoulder with his mouth opened and teeth planted there, taking hold of my flesh, but never too hard.

I could hear his deep moans and breath on my neck and ear, making the hairs on my neck stood up. It turned me even more at the thought that he’s enjoying my body thoroughly as his eyes never leaving me. He smirks as his tongue travels to my neck and begun licking me there.

My entire muscle shudder at the feel of his wet tongue on me, along with that, he gives me a harder thrust. We gasp and moan almost in sync, just his voice, his breath on my skin, everything is so overwhelming, like someone just pushed all my buttons.

I spilled everywhere on his stomach, and I could feel a warm liquid filling my insides. My head flopped on top of him as he rested on my shoulder. That felt good, it’s been so long since I feel like this.

“Ah!”  his head suddenly pops out and I was stunned as well. “I didn’t see your face when you cum” what is he blabbing now? I squeezed his face between my hands and his lips puckered and mushed. This handsome man looked cute like this. I chuckled in my own amusement “stupid” I mumbled.

I just realized that I’m still up in his arms and his dick is still inside me “You can let me go now” I tap his face. His cheeky smile appears again, means that he has some other plans in his head.

“Nope, I’m not letting you go even once tonight” he looks crazy saying that, but it doesn’t mean I disagree.

“Hold on!” he warns as he picks me up away from the wall, and my arms hugged him close to my chest, holding for the safety of my life. He… He did not just completely lift me.

He takes me to his bedroom and placed my body on his bed. He took off his shirt, exposing his whole torso to me.

This is the first time I ever see his body directly. Sculpted abdomen and chest, bulky arms look good with his tattoo on his right shoulder. The sculpt of his body is completely a new line of art, how could a body look so beautiful.

He chuckled as he caught me shamelessly eye raping his body, and yeah, I’m guilty, but not ashamed at all. All that is mine, isn’t it?

He pulls both of my arms and my whole torso fell right into his embrace. His arms wrapping me tightly and I could feel his rapid heartbeat.

“I love you so much Taekwoon” his voice sounded soft as his breath brushed against my skin lightly, yet enough to makes my chest blooms with those words.

He loves me, I am loved, the hand that wraps me like I’m a treasure, those arms are Julien’s, and he loves me.

“Un jour, je vais vous faire mon mari” he mumbled, what language is that? (note : Yes, I use google translate don't shade me on this)

“What are you saying?” I asked and he could only smile at me. “When the time comes, I will say it to you” and he kissed my temple.

“Right now, I just want to pamper you, you’ve worked hard” he kissed my lips, he’s moving so aggressively.

He pushes me down and his body is resting on top on me while not breaking our lips. I could feel the shape of his body on top of me all too well. His hand cradles the back of my head while his thumb is rubbing my cheek gently.

“Julien” I called as I pushed his face away just for a bit so I can say “I love you too”.

 

++++++++++++++++

 

Deep breaths, stretch. Feels so cozy under the blanket. The whole room is dark, only a few lights peeking over the curtain. I don’t want to move.

I could hear a sound of something frying outside this bedroom and my eyes popped open immediately. I push away the blanket and the cold struck me immediately. I retract back inside the blanket for warmth. I glance around the bed and found myself alone there right in the middle of it.

Julien must be making something, the smell is making me hungry. We didn’t eat last night, at all, because we’re busy doing something else. It’s been so long since I did it, and he’s been considerate towards me. Well, he’s considerate after he just did me in the hallway standing up.

It took the whole night and all of our stamina to satisfy our piled-up sex drive. It was tiring, but it felt so good, and I feel completely satisfied, I hope he is too.

I can’t believe I can keep up with his energy, he’s way fitter than me, I guess I’m stronger than I think. I creep outside the blanket slowly and tried to walk to my clothes, but my legs wiggle and drop me to the floor the second I stand. Never mind then.

I straighten my legs and begun to massage them. That guy really takes it too far, but that’s not a complain. I never really have sex till my legs gave up, this is my first time experiencing it, so it’s possible huh.

The door in front of me open, and I look up to see Julien there in a thin shirt and fit training pants, looking delicious in it.

“What are you doing on the floor Wooniee?” he chuckles sweetly as he grabs a remote and turns off the air conditioner.

He runs to me and joined me on the floor, massaging my legs. His hands on my legs are not the best combination. I swear I think that my legs are pretty thick, but it looked small in his hands.

“Are your legs sore?” his face turned serious for a while there, is he seriously worried about me just because of this?

“No it’s not Juli, I just stood up too quickly” my hands rubbing the back of his hair and his eyes shifted to mine. I pull him in and leave a peck on his lips.

“I’m hungry, let’s eat breakfast” my brain reminded me of how hungry I am, and Julien lightly chuckled “It’s lunch Woonie, I already cooked something, let’s get you dressed. He pulls my arms and I could finally stand on my own two feet.

I borrowed his shirt and pants like I always do. He makes a simple army stew and kimchi with rice. I’m so hungry I think I could eat the whole pot.

We took our seat and eat in silence, which is weird because we always talked, something, anything, but I’m so hungry my mouth is busy chewing till I realize that he’s being awkward.

I swallowed my food “What is it Juli?” and I stuff my mouth with more rice and ham.

“Nothin” Julien smiles, he always smiles to everything but it always means something else. There is something bothering him and he’s not telling me.

I put spoon and bowl on the table and swallow the last food, time to get serious. “Juli, tell me what’s on your mind right now or I’ll tickle you”

He pouts, it was the cute pout, now that’s not fair, “Not if I tickle you first!” I would love to jump into his lap and tickle him right now but that’s not the point.

“Juli…”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT WE HAVE SEX OK?” He jumps and explodes. The table shook as this bulky dude freaks out.

“Not that I don’t like it, but I thought that our first time will be more romantic than having sex on the corridor… I just thought that I should’ve had more self-restraint, you just got back and I bet you’re tired and I’m just doing whatever the fuck I want without asking you” His shoulder slump after he gave me that rambling.

I don’t know whether it’s sweet or stupid or naïve.

“Juli, I wanted to have sex with you too, and I honestly couldn’t have waited any longer that time” I shrugged, and his head lifts up, finally looking at me in deep thought. Then I realized that he meant it more serious than I thought.

“Do you mean it?” he paused, looking a bit hesitant and he rubs the back of his neck. Well of course I meant it when I lust for- “Do you mean it when you say you love me?”, oh, that one.

The big man in front of me shrunk as he asked me. Why? Isn’t it obvious? What more is there to question?

“Yes, I mean it” and that is a fact. I choose him and I trust him, despite how horrible my past relationship is, I cannot betray my heart.

“You didn’t say that in the heat of the moment?” I’m the one who should’ve ask him that, but then again, he told me he likes me the same day we met so…

“I didn’t say these things lightly Julien” I stood up from the table and walk over to him.

“I am Jung Taekwoon, and I love you, Julien Kang. You’re like a gentleman on steroids, yet you’re actually someone quirky and so weird. You get pretty loud sometimes, and the times where you’re as soft as a soft-boiled egg always caught me by surprise. I love every part of that, but that’s not the only reason”

I let myself sit on his lap and link my hands behind his neck “Open minded, welcoming, and you accept me for everything I am. You treasure me Julien, and I want to treasure you too” I kiss his temple and then his lips.

His face froze for a few seconds before his eyes turn watery and it shocks me, but then again, I shouldn’t. This is the same guy that cries while watching My Little Mermaid.

I wipe his tears with my thumb and his reddish eyes meet mine, “Do you love me enough to be my boyfriend?” he whimpered.

I chocked on that and burst into a fit of laugh. Julien looks like he’s dumbfounded by my sudden burst.

“Where did you get that line?” I pat his cheeks, no matter how cheesy he gets, he’s my cheesy guy now.

“Of course, I would” his smile grows wider than ever and his body jerked. The next moment after that, my body is already on air, he’s lifting me up by the hips and spin me around.

“YES” He screams with joy. He puts me back to the floor and drowns me in his big bear hug. “I love you Taekwoon” He kisses my lips, both of my cheeks, my forehead, my eyelids, everywhere on my face.

“Let’s spend these whole 2 days like a honeymoon” he asked cheekily, and I agreed. Two days alone with him sounds heavenly, if only I could stay longer. I will clench my thirst for him in these 2 days. Well, technically not just these 2 days, but every day, hopefully for the rest of my life. I’ll give him all the love that has been building up inside me.

I was getting up from being down, and he’s there to tend my wounds. Now, our journey has just begun.

A light in a bad moment of my break up. He’s a turning point in this scenario of my life.

 

End.

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well..... that's all.... and man that's a mess............................. lolllll thanks for whoever dropped by here, leave kudos if you likee, comments and critics would be appreciateddd


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